I think i got fever lately which probably explain why i felt so down. Really don't feel like talking at all. I think it had been few days already. Initially just felt a bit cold, thought that nothing serious so didn't care much. Just took measurement of my body temperature now and realised it reached 38++ celcius already. Gosh, just realised it now =.=
no wonder feel this bad =.=
i need water water water >.<
i hate drinking water seriously..
it is tasteless...
Arghh...just realised i ate ice cream n KFC, will it worsen my condition?
Zzzzz..zz..zzz..
Sigh...
sigh...
sigh...
Now i'm alone in the room without my roommate..I think this is better coz i don't want him to get affected..
.
.
Feel like no one will know when i'm dying...:(
It really remind me when i was at my auntie house when i have my fever reach 39 celcius at midnight and i didn't have medicine with me..it was the worse experience i have ever had..never wake them up because i feel bad and end up i drank up a big kettle of water in a few hours and get the ice to cool myself down...I think i fell asleep at 4 a.m. at that time...
the next day my auntie asked me where had the water gone...lol...zzz
-.-...
well...i think i need to rest first...
Argh...
sprained wrist..
swelled toe..
bruised leg..
painful back...
><..
feel like doing nothing...
Zzzzz but cannot sleep..
got tons of thing to do...
><...
Well, overall, this movie is not bad after all..
But if you are not a family kind of person, then i suggested don't watch this movie better because although it is about disaster movie but the main focus is still about family..
The flow might a bit fast because it told a story about a family for 32 years. Hence, it didn't have much details on every single scene..
As for the story, basically it told an incident that struck TangShan, China, an earthquake that devoured 240k or more of human lives..
.
.
Overview of the story:
A 7-year-old girl who get buried under the debris after the earthquake, overheard her mother decision to save her twin brother, who get buried under the same debris, instead of her because her mum have to come to difficult decision to choose to save either one of them or to lose both of them..
1 second more hesitation, they both will get crush to death by the debris. It is the most painful decision the mother had made in her life. As for the 7-year-old girl that overhead the conversation, can only quietly cry and say "ma..ma.."
As her mother thought her daughter was dead, she rush her son to the hospital leaving the girl body among the dead people..Miraculously, the girl woke up, but she had no intention at all to look for her mum..She walk aimlessly among the dead body till someone approach her asking," where is your family, your dad, your mum?"
The girl can only give an innocent sad face while looking at the guy, "don't be afraid, uncle will bring you home" responded the guy..
.
.
Well, so the rest is about family scene, about how the girl face her childhood traumatised experience..
To be honest, i don't really like the character of the small girl when she grow up..so insensible, only know how to make parents worried..in a word, to me i think she is selfish..I like the character of her mother, although stubborn but she is devoted, No doubt about her love for her husband and her child..
While my memory still fresh now, i would like to note down what i have experienced in my dream.
What a nostalgic, i dream about my family, my father, my mother and our home.
In my dream i saw how our house gradually changed/evolved from a small to its current shape. I still remember, the first time when i moved in staying with my grandma and my cousin while my both parent and brother were staying at the other island, the house looked so old because the wall was not painted..
In my dream, my father took care of everything from building up the house.
When i think back, i was amazed by how everything was done..
It is like finding a lost memory in my dream..
In reality i might not have time to think of it, but in dream it flash back everything..
Come to think of it, without realizing it, perhaps it is the reason why everytime when i was back from singapore to batam, i would always rush back to my hometown..It is really a kind of feeling that i can not describe using word..My family is there waiting for me..
The house used to be lively because all my brother, cousin, grandma were all there..but now, only left my parents and my sister as the rest had moved out..my cousin married, my brother pursue their study at batam and my grandma stay with my grandpa..
The house is so empty now, all of sudden i have an urge to rush back, "pa, ma i'm back"...
Is this what we called homesick? well, perhaps...
All of sudden feel so lonely..
All of sudden need someone to accompany..
Don't feel like talking but prefer listening..
People keep telling me don't stress myself out..
but when i look at the thing that i haven't done, it really stress me out..
Last night almost didn't get any dinner because i was too into my work, i forgot the time..the canteen almost close. But luckily, there is some stall that are kind enough to sell me something..i'm grateful..
Didn't eat properly lately..
Sometimes, i am thinking, how good could it be if there is someone that can take good care of me..
To be honest, it is very tiring..
in the past two day, i was rushing doing my previous java logbook which i haven't done..so many code, testing, and record need to be done..
From morning 8 till midnight 1 for the past two day i was rushing my work because i know i have no enough time..
Finally it was done, but there are still more waiting for me:
1. Today must go for the Tuition grant appointment, still do not know how long will it takes..
2. By today need to complete literature review which consist of lots lots of thing to read..
3. haven't done my java assignment which consist of hellish code..
4. haven't prepared my 2 logbook for the incoming weeks
5. haven't done the tutorial which mean i lack of practice
6. haven't revise the math, economic and electronic which i don't understand at all..and the exam is drawing near==die...
Sigh...think no one will know this..
what can i do is to swallow all of this like drinking water all by myself..hope i won't get poisoned...:(
I spent most of my down time alone..
kind of person that like to bottle up my feeling...
May god bless me...
continuing doing my stuff...~~
i just read this joke from the link that my friend, huang-meimei, sent to me which i think quite funny, so real..i think i'm quite stressful lately..
Hence, it makes my day :) thx a lot..
Hope you guy and gal enjoy it..btw, it is in indonesia language..:)
Here we go:
.
.
Kalo Cowok Ganteng pendiam
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Wow,cool banget..
Kalo Cowok Jelek pendiam
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Ih kuper..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng begaya gaul
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Funky bo..
Kalo Cowok Jelek begaya gaul
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Ih norak..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng jomblo
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti dia perfeksionis
Kalo Cowok Jelek jomblo
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Sudah jelas..kagak laku!
Kalo Cowok Ganteng jadi gay
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Karena cowo2 juga suka
Kalo Cowok Jelek jadi gay
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Karna cewe2 uda ga berminat
Kalo Cowok Ganteng ganti2 cewe
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Wajar,khan dikerubutin cewe2 cantik
Kalo Cowok Jelek ganti2 cewe
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti sering diputusin cewenya
Kalo Cowok Ganteng dpt cewe cantik
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Klop..serasi banget
Kalo Cowok Jelek dpt cewe cantik
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti main dukun..atau cewenya matre
Kalo Cowok Ganteng ditolak cewe
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Jangan sedih,khan masi ada aku...
Kalo Cowok Jelek ditolak cewe
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: (Diam,tapi telunjuknya me liuk2 dari atas kebwh)
Kalo Cowok Ganteng diputusin cewe
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Rugi tuh cewe..tapi rejeki buat cewe yg lain
Kali Cowok Jelek diputusin cewe
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Akhirnya terbuka juga mata hati cewe itu...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng digaet Tante-tante Girang
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pinter juga tuh tante
Kalo Cowok Jelek digaet Tante-tante Girang
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti karena 'cucakrowo'nya..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng ngaku pacarnya Dian Sastro
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Percaya...masuk akal..
Kalo Cowok Jelek ngaku pacarnya Dian Sastro
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Tolong,beli kaca yang gede....!!
Kalo Cowok Ganteng suka merawat wajah
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Itu memelihara asset namanya..
Kalo Cowok Jelek suka merawat wajah
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Buang-buang waktu aja...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng ngaku Indo campuran
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Emang mirip-mirip bule sih..
Kalo Cowok Jelek ngaku Indo campuran
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Campuran bemo sama becak,kali..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng penyayang binatang
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Perasaannya halus...penuh cinta kasih
Kalo Cowok Jelek penyayang binatang
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Sesama keluarga emang hrs saling menyayangi...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng gak selesai study
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Jadi artis aja...
Kalo Cowok Jelek gak selesai study
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Mao jadi apa lo?
Kalo Cowok Ganteng jadi atasan
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Cocok..tampangnya aja intelek
Kalo Cowok Jelek jadi atasan
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Ga pantes,muka jongos...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng jago main gitar
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Most talented boy..
Kalo Cowok Jelek jago main gitar
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti tukang ngamen..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng bawa BMW
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Matching...keren luar dalem
Kalo Cowok Jelek bawa BMW
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Punya majikan ya...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng main film
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti peran utama..kaya Nicolas Saputra
Kalo Cowok Jelek main film
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti peran penjahat atau setan difilm horor
Kalo Cowok Ganteng ngaku pernah ML
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Iyalah,cewenya pasti 'ngasih'...
Kalo Cowok Jelek ngaku pernah ML
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Sama WTS mana?
Kalo Cowok Ganteng tajir
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Sempurna..siapa si yg nggak mau?
Kalo Cowok Jelek tajir
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Kami hanya mau uangmu...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng jadi biker
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Kaya Valentino Rossi ya..
Kalo Cowok Jelek jadi biker
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti sekalian ngojek..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng kulitnya gelap
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Si hitam Manis..
Kalo Cowok Jelek kulitnya gelap
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Si Dakochan....
Kalo Cowok Ganteng gondrong
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Macho..Rocker Style!
Kalo Cowok Jelek gondrong
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Buat nutupin muka..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng suaranya bagus
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Jadi penyanyi aja...
Kalo Cowok Jelek suaranya bagus
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Kenapa ga jadi kenek aja..??
Kalo Cowok Ganteng bodynya berotot
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Wiii gila,sixpack!...seksi bo!
Kalo Cowok Jelek bodynya berotot
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Biar orang ga mratiin tampangnya,tuh..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng males difoto
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti takut fotonya kesebar-sebar
Kalo Cowok Jelek males difoto
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Nggak tega liat hasil cetakannya ya?..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng minjem duit
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Mungkin blm ngambil ATM...
Kalo Cowok Jelek minjem duit
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Dasar cekak! Singkron sama mukanya
Kalo Cowok Ganteng keringetan
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti abis olahraga..sporty boo!
Kalo Cowok Jelek keringetan
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Abis ngangkut beras di mana?
Kalo Cowok Ganteng naik MOGE
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Ow..Lorenzo Lamas,bikin lemas..
Kalo Cowok Jelek naik MOGE
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Awas,mandragade lewat..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng jadi selebritis
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Kalo ngga model ya bintang film..
Kalo Cowok Jelek jadi selebritis
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pasti pelawak atau penyanyi dangdut...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng menyendiri
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Gak mau jadi pusat perhatian
Kalo Cowok Jelek menyendiri
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Minder kali...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng humoris
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Orangnya asyik ya...
Kalo Cowok Jelek humoris
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Cari perhatian tuh..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng belagu
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Maklum beken...
Kalo Cowok Jelek belagu
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Muke lu jauh...!!
Kalo Cowok Ganteng romantis
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Ooh..so sweet..
Kalo Cowok Jelek romantis
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Urgh..you make me sick!
Kalo Cowok Ganteng pake kacamata item
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Kereen...jadi inget film Matrix
Kalo Cowok Jelek pake kacamata item
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Cocok..tinggal kasi tongkat aja..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng minta kissing
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Boleeh..tapi yg soft ya...
Kalo Cowok Jelek minta kissing
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Ih jijayy..sama pispot aja sana!
Kalo Cowok Ganteng berbuat jahat
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Nobody's perfect
Kalo Cowok Jelek berbuat jahat
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Pantes..tampangnya aja kriminil..!!
Kalo Cowok Ganteng nuangin air kegls cewe
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Ini baru cowo gentleman..
Kalo Cowok Jelek nuangin air kegls cewe..
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Naluri pembantu,emang gitu..
Kalo Cowok Ganteng nolongin cewe yg diganggu preman
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Wuih jantan..kaya difilm-film action
Kalo Cowok Jelek nolongin cewe yg diganggu preman
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Premannya pasti temen dia...
Kalo Cowok Ganteng bersedih hati
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Let me be your shoulder to cry on
Kalo Cowok Jelek bersedih hati
Cewek-Cewek Bilang: Cengeng amat!! Lelaki bukan sih..?!
Kalo Cowok Ganteng baca email ini
Langsung ngaca sambil senyum2 kecil,lalu berkata 'Life is Beautifull'
Kalo Cowok Jelek baca ini
Frustasi,ngambil tali jemuran,trus tereak se keras2nya
'HIDUP INI KEJAAAMM..!!!'
.
.
Ckckckck hidup memang kejam ato cewenya yg kejam yah?hahaha :P
Sigh...do not know what i'm doing lately..
have determined to study hard yet still playing guitar..
can not be helped i think..
anyway my vocal still sucked..
difficult to sing and play at the same times...hope that someone could sing this song while i'm playing it :)
Sigh...i think this time round i really have to work hard..
i feel that i'm not working hard enough..
Therefore, i think i will "hibernate" for the time being before i get all my thing done..
If keep up with this kind of phase, i think i'm gonna get eliminated soon..
You may think that i'm just stressing myself out..
Yes, I'm..
I know myself better than anyone..
I'm not that smart, so in order to keep up with others i have to forgo certain thing in order to achieve something..
It is better to stress now than at later time..
May god bless me..
What am i afraid the most is not being rejected, what i'm afraid the most is that we can't get back to where we were before..The closer i get to you the more hesitate i'm..i have seen so many cases like this before..the price is too big to lose..
i'm such a blockhead when it comes to relationship..
i am still confused whether this is called love?because i never experience it before..
Or this is just misleading feeling since i only got few female friends..hence, when the strong feeling comes, i misunderstood it as a love instead of friendship..
this is really my concern..
I'm a kind of person who would like to make everything clear first before i take my action..Hence, sometimes i let the opportunity slip pass..
You may think i'm wishy washy, my answer is yes i'm..
she like to talk and ask a lot of question..
she keep asking who the person i love?why i haven't fall in love?
how could i answer it?when i'm in such confused state, this kind of question comes..i didn't plan to tell her because like what i told her, i really need to thoroughly understand my feeling first..i used to have that feeling, but it was gone for sometimes, but it is back again..but it is a bit different this time..i couldn't explain in details..i just feel it..
but eventually, through lots of questioning, i told her..
i think she was shocked..i think i have scared her..
then she said" what makes you think i will like you" i really dunno how to answer..
i just wanted to tell her something which i couldn't tell, which is i know i may not an ideal or good or ur dream guy, but at least let me protect and taking care of you for the time being until u met the right one..but this word will never come out of my mouth..
when she made everything clear, i feel relief and with no much sadness..perhaps, the friendship outweighed the so called "love" feeling i have towards her..
no matter what happend my instinct alway tell me, protect her..
..
we went out again together with my other friends..something i'm afraid the most happened..it is not that so obvious but i could sense it, something different..it is no longer like what we were before..something amiss..in some ways, i feel that she keep avoiding me although she may not notice that herself..
for example, she become seldom talk to me but talk to the other, keeping distant with me for example she tend to walk beside my other friend when making conversation, tried to make group conversation when talking with me, didn't hit and bully me that often..i dunno whether she realised it or not..
there is an incident when she talk to us and my friend walk away where i'm standing beside her, then when she turn around while talking to us, when she realised that i'm the only one standing there,then she turned away and facing my friends, although it is just a brief moment, but i could sense it..
i believe she may not realised it herself..
kinda sad actually..perhaps, this is what i'm most afraid of..
I just wanted to let her know this, but i know she probably will say that i think too much or too sensitive..well, so i could only hope that it is just for a short period of time..
Well, i feel much better now to vent it out here...
i'm not good at expressing my feeling, my thought verbally but i hope i could express it better in written context..:)
